Week #7 Story: Jane and Her Husband
Jane and her husband, Steven, had decided to go take their children to the park after work one day. They had two little kids in which they adored. Steven and Jane usually waited on a park bench near by while the kids played on the playground and swings.
A big man with dark clothing approached them. The man asked "Hi friends! I haven't seen you in awhile. Where are your children?"
Jane and Steven had never seen this man in their life before. They looked at each other and Jane knew she had to make quick action as her children may have been in danger. Jane looked up and hugged the man. She replied back, "Oh my! It's been a long time since we've seen each other. The last time I think you saw us I think it was at the grocery store."
The man almost looked surprised when she replied in this fashion. He asked again "Yeah it's been so long. We do have to catch up, but I have been dying to see your children! The last time I saw them they were only a couple years old."
Jane replied, "Oh well Steven over here can go get the kids and bring them back here. I don't want you to frighten the kids as they might not remember who you are."
In this moment the man was so happy he thought he had tricked them, but in fact Jane was playing his game. Steven began to notice Jane was sliding him the keys to the car. He knew what he had to do and went in the direction of the kids.
After five minutes had passed and the man was getting impatient. Jane innocently replied "Maybe Steven is having a problem locating them. Would you help me look for them?"
The man thought this was not out of the ordinary and walked in the direction of the playground. Meanwhile, Steven had brought the kids to the car. He was waiting for Jane to get in the car and to drive them off to safety.
Jane suggested to the man "Why don't you look in this direction while I look over here?"
The man thought that was fine. He turned around to start looking for the kids and Steven. Jane kept her composure and walked straight to the car. She turned the car on and drove off. After five minutes of looking the man knew he had been tricked and cried in agony.
Author's note:
I created this story based off of a story named "A Fox and His Wife" by Cecil Henry Bompas. The name of this story was focused on the Fox, and in my opinion this story should be really be named "The Fox and Her Husband". The wife did all the heavy lifting in getting away from the villain in the story. I was inspired by how she was cunning to take care of her family.
Bibliography:
A Fox and His Wife, by Cecil Henry Bompas (1909), Link
Hi Jess!
ReplyDeleteI actually really enjoyed your spin on this story! I really enjoyed how it didn't start off as a usual story and rather made me wonder in what direction you were taking the "kids at the playground." I liked how short and sweet it was, but also how the woman was able to trick the man and think quickly. I think adding in a twist would be kind of cool to see, like the man catches on but Jane escapes. Very interesting though, and suspenseful!
Hi Jess!
ReplyDeleteI like that you changed the characters to humans again. This makes it hit close to home and more realistic than a fox. I like that you centered your story on the woman and I agree the woman did do all the work. It's good that she can think on her feet and get away from the perpetrator. I like that you keep it a happy ending and not make it too realistic like Jane's children getting kidnapped or something.